Quit Throwin' My Wheels Off!

i'm really in love with my brett, even if he leaves wet towels on the bed. or if he brings one of the white crate and barrel mugs (instead of a travel mug) to work, because i'm convinced that one day as he struggles to carry everything inside, one will fall and break. which it did. even when we're in the car and he starts drumming really hard on my steering wheel- which in my mind is the definite cause for throwing my alignment off. (it is, probably. right?) 

maybe.

and i'm sure he'd say that he loves me, even though when i wash the dishes, i leave the huge knives pointing up rather than down.  

i like to know where my knives are, you know? 

(if i put on my logic cap, he's probably right)

i'll flip the knife around today. 

if i remember.

i'm glad he loves my irrational finicky self. if he bangs on my steering wheel today while we get our tree, i'll keep my mouth shut. maybe.

Thanks, Love.

The cliche: Two years ago today, I married my best friend. 

I was 20. 

I would have done it sooner. (But you know...I needed to travel the world and write four books first. Oh. Wait.)

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Thanks for loving me back. 

And because we've been married all of two years, I feel as though I am qualified to make a qualified suggestion. (Does that make sense?)

Love him, love her. Tell them you love them. Hug. Smile. Let the people in your life know that you love them. Forgive. Let it roll off of your back. Nothing is more important than loving those around you. Nothing. 

But you already knew that, didn't you? ; )

Here's to love!

This picture was taken on our wedding day. Karina died in a car accident on September 16th, 2011.

A beautiful friend gone too soon. A definite reminder to me that each and every day is a gift and a blessing. I love and miss you, you saucy hot box girl. 

Please check out a blog that one of her closest friends has started in her memory. 

She Got Married, Too: Drea

I love reading about other couples. I love getting a

sneak peak into their lives and seeing how they make their situation work. Some would say that I'm nosy. Which I'm fine with. Because enough people were open enough to take me up on this guest poster series and answer with honesty, heart, and humor.

Enjoy :)

Names: Drea and Pax (the HOT one)

Ages: 22 and 25

I live in: Orem, UT

Do you blog? (Where can we find you?) About what? Of course! My blog is snarkydrea.blogspot.com and I blog about art, love, God, and the journey! Oh, and we're having a baby in October so you might read a little about that, too!

What do YOU do? At the moment I'm pouring most of my time into my new Etsy shop (http://snarkydrea.etsy.com/). I recently left working full time, which was kind of a surprise, but it's been really nice to just have some time to focus on me and things that I'm passionate about. I am looking for a part-time job, but I really look forward to stay-at-home-mommyhood.

What does HE/SHE do? My husband works for a company called Security Metrics. He's the head of their training department in Support and really loves the company. He's been there just over a year. He's also going to school which is crazy.

How long have you been married? Ummm.... 10 months? It'll be a year in August.

How did you meet? We met at church! Hah. Our church has special wards designed just for young single adults so we can mingle and date. I was just going to the ward because they had a missionary prep class which I was attending and my friends were in the ward. I was scheduled to leave on a mission for my church (for 18 months) in June and Pax worked his romancin' magic and that didn't happen. We got married in August instead.

What do you argue about the most? If we argue it's usually because one of us (usually me) is being stubborn and won't swallow our pride while discussing something. A lot of the time it's completely useless! There may be a tiff or two about the excess of video games in our home, too. But I'm learning. ;)

Do you have kids? If not, are you planning on them anytime soon? Weeellll, we weren't planning on having kids for a couple of years, but you know how that works out. I'm pregnant with our first and expect to see him/her in October. (We're finding out on the 13th of June whether it's  little man or lady!)

No kids? Dogs? Cats? They count. Names? I have been trying desperately to convince Pax that we need a dog/cat. He's more of a dog person, so hopefully we'll be able to get a puppy soon. We'll see.

Who cooks the most? It used to be solely his responsibility because we both worked full-time. I cleaned, did laundry, etc. He was the chef. He's an excellent cook. But now that I'm home more, I've been cooking more. Again, I'm learning!

Who cleans the most? Me. Me. Me. Pax's office is very neat and organized, but when it comes to general cleaning and organizing, he doesn't help out much. lol. He generally comes home straight from work and starts on his heinous load of homework. 

Where do you see yourselves in five years? Hopefully in a bigger house and hopefully with only one or two kids. Haha. I'm really crossing my fingers on that.

If you could give an engaged couple any advice (assuming they asked for it), what would it be?

Be patient with yourself and your significant other. The first year is or can be rough. Learn to swallow your pride and love learning together. The incredible growth you will experience if you can do those things together will make you far better friends/companions than you ever imagined.

Other Love & Marriage Posts

Brothers

It's a big weekend.

We're sending  my brother (and Dan!)  off to Tennessee.

This dark brown boy is now in his mid twenties, and he's a doctoral candidate.

He's not the big tough, ''leave my sister alone'' kind of brother. He's more quiet and keeps to himself. But even so, he has taught me quite a bit, and I'm not sure he knows it.

He taught me to eat more vegetables. 

His music brings a lot of different people together in one room.  I hope he doesn't stop playing.

Anyway, I can't say much more. I'll probably start to cry.

Hey, Matt! I love you! I'll tell you a bunch more tonight, probably.

Can't wait to come visit you in Tennessee.

You'll do great things...you already do. (Yeah. I said that. Hope you're not embarassed. Eh. It's fine if you are. You're moving far away.)

Lots of Love.

She Got Married, Too: Jessica

I love reading about other couples. I love getting a

sneak peak into their lives and seeing how they make their situation work. Some would say that I'm nosy. Which I'm fine with. Because enough people were open enough to take me up on this guest poster series and answer with honesty, heart, and humor.

Enjoy :)

Names: Jessica & Mike

Ages: Both 25

We live in: a suburb outside Chicago

Do you blog? (Where can we find you?) About what?

You can find me at Faith Permeating Life. A lot of my posts are advice-giving and advice-seeking about making marriage work and just being happy with life as a 20-something, whether it’s around money issues, sex, work, or friendships. I am Catholic, but I’m not your typical “Catholic blogger” because I write more often about areas where I disagree with the Church (mostly around gay rights and sexuality) than where I agree. I’m also following Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project for 2011, so I post updates on that once a month.

What do YOU do?

I work at a college where I design surveys, analyze data, run focus groups, manage student course evaluations, and otherwise try to make sure our students are getting what they pay for. I also have a side job editing manuscripts for aspiring authors. And another one reviewing resumes and cover letters for job seekers. I’m trying to put all of my experience to good use :)

What does HE do?

Mike just got a job as a restaurant manager and I am super-proud of him! He graduated with his master's degree in social work over a year ago and just had rotten luck finding a job. He has been involved in food service since high school but wanted to move into management if he was going to stay with it. This new job sounds wonderful and I think he will be very happy

How long have you been married?

It will be two years in August.

What holds the two of you together?

There’s a whole blog’s worth of answers to that question! Here are some: respect, trust, good communication, balance, laughter and shared values, and complementary strengths. Also, since we put pretty strict boundaries on our physical intimacy during the time we were dating, we had almost five years to really get to know each other through conversation and doing fun things together, which I think gave us a strong base for marriage.

What do you argue about the most?

Because we have such open and honest communication, we rarely fight about the typical things (money, sex, etc.). We are most likely to argue about communication itself; e.g., “You sound like you’re mocking me,” “Don’t get so defensive,” or “Stop giving me advice, I just want you to listen.” We inevitably end every argument by immediately going back over it to figure out where the miscommunication happened or how one of us could have rephrased something so it was less attacking. I guess that’s what happens when a communication major (me) marries a psychology major (him)!

Do you have kids? If not, are you planning on them anytime soon?

Not yet! We want to adopt a big family eventually, but that requires saving up a lot of money, so it will depend on when Mike finds work. Also, a lot of adoption agencies require you to be married at least three years, and I think right around then we’ll both be ready for kids, emotionally if not financially.

What is your favorite way to spend a weekend together?

We love to do projects together. My husband is a big-ideas man and I am more detail-oriented, so he comes up with an idea and I help us create a plan to make it happen. One project (see the picture!) that has been in the works almost as long as we’ve been married is our four-piece artwork that will eventually say, “Love is a collaborative work of art” (taken from the book Metaphors We Live By). It’s supposed to represent things that we like to do together. “Love” is a photo collage of four cities where we have family (Chicago, Buffalo, Seattle, and Columbus). “Is” is made out of pieces from various board games. “A” is a leaf because we like to take walks outside. The rest is a giant Scrabble board that is just missing the letters, which we’re still working on.

Who cooks the most?

Mike. He is an excellent cook. I’m happy to leave that up to him, and he’s happy to leave our finances up to me. It works :)

Who cleans the most?

Mike does the dishes every night and is more likely to vacuum than I am. I keep things organized and am more likely to go around and pick up stray clothes and papers. We live in a small apartment, so there’s not a lot to clean, fortunately.

What was the biggest shocker of married life?

That there wasn’t one. I’d spent my whole life hearing that shortly after you get married, the “honeymoon phase” ends and reality comes crashing in. I think because we spent so much time really getting to know each other inside and outside before marriage, there wasn’t much to be surprised about by the time we got married. I wrote about that here in a very long post shortly after we got married, and nothing’s really changed since then.

What is the most difficult part of married life?

Carving out time for myself without feeling guilty; making time for Mike amidst work, errands, chores, appointments, and the like. Just time, in general.

Where do you see yourselves in five years?

We want to move to Washington State within five years, so I’m trying to get enough experience under my belt that I can get an equivalent job out there. With any luck, we’ll be living out there and will have adopted at least one child, and we’ll be looking at possible choices for land to build the house we’re designing.

If you could give an engaged couple any advice (assuming they asked for it), what would it be?

Regarding planning a wedding, I wrote a post about what I think is important to focus on.

Regarding marriage, let go of the things that don’t matter, and talk out the rest. Fight fair. Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind. Say “I love you” as often as possible.

*I will admit that I initially did not run over to read Jessica's blog because she had told me she was semi-anonymous and didn't share pictures of themselves. Perhaps that's a bit juvenile of me, but it's the truth- I love seeing the face behind the words when it comes to blogging. Her blog is well-written and you'll find very little fluff over there. She is passionate about her life, values, and her marriage...it most definitely shines through in her blog. Grab a cup of coffee and go take a look...it's worth it!*

**Also, thank you if you've continued to read all the way to this point! Please take a second and consider voting in my poll at the top of the blog on the left hand side. The question is, 'Which DIY post would you most like to see? (beer/bread/cabinetry makeover) Thanks, all! **

Other Love & Marriage Posts

She Got Married, Too: Carrie

I love reading about other couples. I love getting a

sneak peak into their lives and seeing how they make their situation work. Some would say that I'm nosy. Which I'm fine with. Because enough people were open enough to take me up on this guest poster series and answer with honesty, heart, and humor.

Enjoy :)

Names: Carrie (and Kurt)

Ages: Kurt and I both just celebrated our birthdays within the last month! He just turned 23 and I totally had a weird I’m-dating-someone-waaay-older-than-me moment as if I’m in still in high school and he’s a hot substitute teacher who totally fell for me (Scandal, anyone?)! Only I forget I’m 22. Seriously? Where did 17 go?

We live in: Hot and sunny Southwest Florida!

Do you blog? (Where can we find you?) About what?

I (Carrie) blog at http://www.20-somethinghomemaker.blogspot.com/ as a – wait for it- 20-something Homemaker! I just recently quit my job to devote 100% of my time and efforts to my home and family. My current blog documents that journey! Baking, crafting, saving money, rocking DVR and sleeping in (only sometimes!) are just a few topics I cover over at my blog.

What do YOU do?

Home make 

What does HE do?

Kurt is currently a FedEx package handler/ delivery driver. He commutes almost an hour every morning to his route where he delivers to crazy huge places including homes owned by Kevin Bacon and John Travolta! Granted, they’re never there. And if they are, he’d never know as they have butlers who handle everything. But it’s still cool!

In the future, Kurt wants to return to school to pursue a degree in law.

How long have you been married?

We got married on a beautiful sunny day in June of 2009. So it’s been about a year and ten months! Just this month we’ve actually been married for as long as we had dated (before we married). It’s CRAZY how different we are and how much we’ve grown since we started dating, and even since we married!! But it’s wonderful and rewarding to see!

What holds the two of you together?

We were both incredibly and humbly blessed to come from married homes. My parents have been married almost 40 years, and they’ve been through it all in that time. Seeing my parents struggle relationally, financially and emotionally growing up was hard, but seeing them stay committed to one another for the sake of love taught me so much about marriage. Though I can’t speak for Kurt, I believe our strong commitment to marriage and to one another, along with our faith, are what keep us bound to one another.

What do you argue about the most?

Money, hands-down!! Kurt tends to be a free-spirit when it comes to finances and likes to spend on things like boxing classes, movies, golf rounds and other people, whereas I tend to be a penny-pincher and a money hoarder. Luckily we balance each other out pretty well and challenge the other to spend and save in an appropriate manner.

Do you have kids? If not, are you planning on them anytime soon?

No babies yet!! Call me Michelle Duggar, but I’m all about leaving the size of our family in the Lord’s hands (though the Duggar resemblance stops about right there). Unfortunately, Kurt and I have learned over the last year that infertility is a very likely a problem for us. It’s been a hard pill to swallow, to say the least. But we also realize that, although we’d love to bear children of our own, we also have the incredible opportunity to adopt children who otherwise may not have a lot of great opportunities in life. This thought definitely excites us!!

What is your favorite way to spend a weekend together?

Vegging out on the couch over dinners while watching The Office, Lost, or old Saturday Night Live skits!

Who cooks the most?

It used to be Kurt until I discovered a crazy dinner planning service called e-mealz. Now I cook almost 100% of the time and I LOVE it!!

Who cleans the most?

Mwah!

What was the biggest shocker of married life?

I totally wasn’t expecting marriage to be this easy. It’s definitely hard, but it’s nothing compared to what it seemed the whole world over was making it out to sound like!!

Can we peek inside your home? Share some pictures!

Have you ever heard of Tumbleweed Tiny homes? They’re basically the world’s tiniest living spaces, evah! Well, our apartment is just about one step up from those.

What is the most difficult part of married life?

Coming to the realization that the way I treated my immediate family growing up would be the exact same way I’d treat my husband. And THEN realizing I’m wrong about a lot more than I used to think I was back then… Marriage is humbling and it hurts sometimes.

If you could give an engaged couple any advice (assuming they asked for it), what would it be?

Find a much older married couple whom you believe has a very good marriage and meet with them regularly to learn from their relationship. Call it marriage counseling, if you will. Your relationship doesn’t have to be broken in order to be fixed. This will help strengthen and challenge you as a couple and will give you TONS of support.

They ALSO Got Married!

Janelle
April

Emily

Caitlin

Ana

Heleen

Meghan

Justine